Ben Taylor

I've got a good job again! Starting Real Soon, I'll be responsible for supporting the Theater Management System, a product of Kodak: Digital Cinema. Even better, I'll be using my Linux expertise. I'm beside myself with joy! After seven long years, I'm returning to Information Technology work and fiscal independence. And though I don't expect this job to involve software development, that day can't be far behind. At the very least I'll be a well-paid geek again!

Characteristically, it's times like this when I'm reminded of my status as a meatbot. Early Monday morning my stomach woke me up with a "I'm not happy" informational packet. By dawn I was studying my last dinner in the kitchen sink. This is not supposed to happen. I had been cool with some coughing and dripping, symptoms like those add a acerbic counterpoint to the holidaytime sweetness, but such a bitter metaphor should remain a metaphor, and not become a a literal sourness on my throat. When afternoon came, I had some root beer and chicken soup, which might have been a bad idea, but considering I lost everything by one exit or the other I can't really say. Of course I canceled the interview I had for that afternoon. I did my best to remain still and avoid eating for the rest of the day.

(I haven't forgotten there are some people in worse pain than me.)

I've been able to eat again, but I sense I'm not entirely over this yet. My stomach makes sounds like a mad chemist's lab, and I still have diarrhea, but it's controllable. I haven't been entirely uncomfortable. But I'm still impatient.

What I love about chest colds is that I can lie about doing nothing, partake of simpler pleasures, and not feel guilty about it. Since I've actually been fairly busy this month searching for my next job and contributing at the VOC, this comes as a nice break. When I'm not hacking up my esophagus.

So this week I've started playing Romancing Saga, which I picked up for its eccentric reputation. That reputation is well-deserved. Romancing Saga has a non-linear story structure. You can begin playing with any one of the eight protagonists, choose your companions and pursue different quests at will. It's quite a departure for Square, the Final Fantasy developer, though not quite so byzantine as Troike/BlackIsle's RPGs (Fallout, Torment, Arcanum). There are few dialogue branches in the game, which doesn't have especially much dialogue anyway, though I've been satisfied with its quality. However, the storyline can appear to branch by spending time in one area of the world versus another. The game guides recommend avoiding battles to see more of the game's events in one playthrough. So perhaps some subplots could turn out differently if I don't participate in them myself? I'm not quite sure, because I haven't played through yet.

Personally, it's satisfying to play a game which can frustrate my ambitions with a tricky, well-designed system of mechanics. The first few times I played this game I became quite frustrated because I assumed I could easily master it, but I realize now that Saga will not give up its secrets right away, and that's ok. I've been playing with Sif, the warrior woman from the frozen wastes, who rescued a boy prince from a shipwreck. Her first duty's always to protect her snowy homeland from the encroaching monster hordes, but she's travelled far since taking the boy back to his kingdom to report some dreadful battle. Now Sif and the boy are a team to kick ass, take names, and eventually save the world, assuming it needs saving. She doesn't know yet; she's heard some legends about this dark imprisoned god, and the prophecy of a possibly luny sorceress, but no matter. Sif knows that if there's an ass harassing good people, her's is the foot to kick it.

So for today I'm fighting the good fight in Mardias, but soon I'll have to get back to work. I intend to get a new programming job this season, and I've got another preliminary interview to look forward to next Monday.

Go on, you know you want to read my resume. Let me know what you think.

I don't know a lot about Scribd yet, but what I've read so far sounds interesting. Scribd wants to become a free, public repository of documents, written by anyone for anyone. People have already uploaded a large and diverse collection, including a children's Christmas story from 1947, New York City's greenhouse gas emissions inventory for 2007, a calculus textbook, Cory Doctorow's novels (why am I not surprised?), an introduction to subatomic particles, a guide to grading undergraduate exams, and a cheat sheet for bash shell scripting. Will these links be good in another 5 years? Is there material here of dubious legality? I don't know; I have a lot of questions, but today my skepticism has decided to shake hands with my optimism. I appreciate such cacophonous experiments in online public goods, helping us to disentangle our information from immediate commercial value. But I fear that Scribd's good health may only last as long as its obscurity.

I can't really explain why it's taken me so long to develop discipline (assuming I indeed have). I wonder if I got as far as I did with school and career because of something resembling talent, because it'd be hard to attribute my successes to persistent and dedicated effort. I couldn't say that I didn't understand how many minor applications in the same direction can yield profound results, because the world is filled with examples by great artists and scientists. Perhaps I'm just a slow student of life.

But setting that aside, I'm ready to get myself a job, because I have a Plan. This time it's going to work, I'm going to get paid, and a new and beautiful world will dawn. Still, excuse me if you've heard this before:

The Plan

• Relax
  
• Warm up my skills
  
• Practice my responses
  
• Discover job leads
  
• Check-in with my people
  
• Write to prospects
  
• Schedule interviews
  
• Get a job
  
• Have fun
  
• Organize my shit
  
• Publish my findings
  

See, I'm just putting it all down. Each of these are my necessary conditions to getting a Real Job. Now's the time to set aside my shame and grief. If I'm going to have the programming software engineer coding geek job I deserve, I must do certain things:

Relaxation

Each day should begin with due respect for the mind mysterious. I like to practice breathing meditation followed by T'ai Chi.

Skills

A programmer's gotta have the right skills, and using the skills is the best way to keep them and acquire them. This also builds my confidence, and can be fun too. (But some books from Microsoft are quite dull, bleh.)

Interview responses

When I was younger I assumed I could simply go talk. Perhaps I was less anxious, too, but no matter. Most interviewers will ask me some common questions, questions I can anticipate. Writing responses beforehand presents me an opportunity to take control of these daunting encounters.

Market research

Usually you've got to look for the jobs before you get one. Even when I don't need to, knowing something about their business is a great way to get a company to pay attention to me.

Networking

Though I wouldn't want to be an inconsiderate twit about it, I could discover a great job opportunity from anybody I know. So if you know of an opening for a computer programmer, could you pretty please pass it on? Thanks!

Cover letters

I always write my own cover letters, and I can really struggle to get them right. Unlike bored individuals surfing LiveJournal, the person hiring for the job I want may not have limitless patience and compassion. So the conditions for reading cover letters compel brevity and a particular structure, but choosing the best material or how to express it can be quite challenging.

Interviews

Course, once I've entered the interview I can only hope my preparation's good enough. Paying attention is always the key: listening well to the other person, showing appropriate manners to strangers, and showing my engagement to the conversation. People want to know that I'm there and interested in their concerns, and if all the other stars have aligned then I have a pretty good chance.

Having fun

Playing Kingdom of Loathing may not directly get me a job. But while I'm writing a list of everything I'm doing so I end up with a job at the end without admitting that I'm going to be holding my PlayStation controller at some point, then I simply wouldn't be being honest with myself.

Organization

Like my self-discipline, this is another work in progress. This could be the subject of a whole other post, though I can say I'm entertaining some new ideas. Achieving better organization would help me avoid grievious errors and bolster my self-confidence.

Going online

I should fit the model of a good programmer in other respects too. In my mind, that would include raising my flag on the 'Net. I hope that people will find me through my postings here, and see a little better who I am. 'Publishing my findings' may even help other readers, or inspire them to contribute something useful I haven't tried.

This could've been worse. I scraped a bumper this morning, parking at the computer lab. It looks like only minor damage, but any accident is an embarrassment and a hassle. But of how many thousands of parkings I've made in my lifetime, why should I have to scrape two cars in two years in the same lot? At least it wasn't the landlord's wife this time, only the office manager of the other charity in our building. Of course there were no injuries (I would've been going at, what, < 1 mph?), but we are switching our car insurance today. I hope that doesn't complicate things.

I'm almost satisfied with the presentation here now. Black on white, with a little color (green!), without the wads of stale ornamentation I've observed on so many blogs. Then cool Verdana, with some extra line-spacing to let my type breathe. Aahhh...

Still, I wish I could set my own title. Though I'd learned to set the title on the browser's titlebar, I couldn't discover how to change the heading within the page, and I won't take one without the other. Unfortunately, it appears that cannot be set without a paid account. With the S1 style system, the LASTN_PAGE variable providing the title property cannot be overriden, and I couldn't discover a S2 layout which provided a customizable title. But perhaps I'm overlooking something?

I go into the computer lab again today. Yesterday morning I taught my regular student Cal some more algebra, and I taught basic computer skills to another vet in the afternoon. Now it's time to see what the new day brings.

I care about my writing. I choose words deliberately, and avoid needless expression. But knowing what would genuinely interest readers is often difficult, particularly in this context. What's interesting about my day, my interests, or my problems?

Perhaps that question is an appropriate focus for my blog. LJ provides for comments, so contribute feedback, please. A hundred, a thousand, a hundred thousand ask for this: the typical human drive for contact. What is so interesting about my question? The answer seems to lie in the context.

I care about computers. I've known how to program for two decades now, and I've used the Internet for 16 years. The genial abstractions of computer science fascinate me; I'd like to return to college eventually to do graduate work. At present I teach at a computer lab & diagnosis PC's for local vets.

I care about games; both electronic and non. I watch anime, read manga, and appreciate other elements of Japanese culture such as soba noodles and Zen Buddhism. (My old alias, MacGuges, is reference to a favorite manga.)

I worry about the war and my country. I grew up here in America & can remember the warm feelings of pride I'd have on Flag Day. Yeah, I was born into the place founded on rational humanitarian principles! It saddens me what vengeance & duplicity has been done for "9/11", and I continue to donate to the Red Cross.

I enjoy conversation & fair argument; it's valuable to me to keep up my rhetorical chops. I value doubt over faith. Beliefs will happen, but confusion precedes discovery. We ought to make the most of such opportunities.

Hail Eris!